My cries for help went unanswered. All I could hear was Pat Sajak calling out letters for Vanna to turn. “Do we have the letter ‘D'”?  “D” for drowning?  “D” for Dinghy?  “D” for Dang it I was not planning on practicing my splits today…

It was just a typical Tuesday evening – The news was on the TV as the dinner dishes were getting done. There had been a lot of rain and the dinghy was holding several inches of rainwater. I grabbed an empty coffee can and headed down to the dock to start bailing. After several minutes of scooping, I had the brilliant idea to bail from inside the boat… much easier to be able to sit on the seat and bail from there.

The boat was still holding a lot of water – so I told myself that I would have to keep to the very center of the boat or else the water would slosh to one side and tip the boat over.

(that statement right there tells you that I knew better than to try this).

With one foot on the seat of the dinghy…

You know where this is going right?

All the water came to one side and the dinghy was now on its side.

Half of me was inside the boat, the other half on the dock,  I was now doing the splits…

and screaming.

My dogs were the first to come to my rescue, they seemed as panic-stricken as I was.

I commanded them to go get help.

“Go get help…”

“Go get help, tell him I fell in the well…”

That line always worked with Lassie…  These are smart dogs – but I needed Lassie.

I continued to scream toward the house which was wide open. I could see every door and window open to the fullest. So why couldn’t Sir Lots-a-Wit hear me?

I could hear the faint sound of the saw from the garage.  Then that catchy little tune coming from the empty kitchen…

“Wheel.

Of.

Fortune!!!!”

followed by thunderous applause from an aging audience.

Meantime, back at the Gulch I am now in water deep enough that I cannot touch bottom.  My right hand has a death grip on a sinking dinghy and my left is desperately treading water. I know I will have to turn loose of the dinghy or I will go under with it.

I felt a sense of betrayal. Vanna is sashaying from letter to letter in a bedazzled evening gown while I am struggling to keep my head above water in a v-neck and capris.

Finally, the distant buzzing of the saw stopped and Sir Lots-a-Wit came out to the deck…in a much too calm voice he looks at me and asks…

“Did you need something?”

I am going to pause this right here and let his statement soak in…

Are you kidding me….?

Is he kidding me right now?

Can’t you see that I am struggling here….  Could you please come help me!!??

Needless to say, I would have guessed the letter “S”, “S” for I am Sinking….  “S” for my Screams & Scrapes and Soreness from the Splits…  and “S” for a Sashaying Vanna in a Sequenced gown.

Next time I bail the dinghy the swim ladder is coming down first – it would have been so simple to just let go and swim to the ladder. But in my mind letting go would have meant the sinking of the dinghy.

I also had the option of climbing up the muddy bank…

we all know that wasn’t going to happen, not with my freshly painted toes!!

***

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