Big Problemo at the Topless Beach


My daughter and I have enjoyed many traveling adventures together.  There are many stories that come to mind, but none are as amusing as this one….

Buon giorno!


Ahhhh….  Italy!  The land of vino, beautiful people and topless beaches!

My daughter and I were vacationing in Italy.  My boss at the time gave us a week at his timeshare which he never used.

Lucky for us this timeshare happened to be at a fabulous resort on the island of Sardinia – surrounded by the Mediterranean Sea.

It was one of those resorts where you stay all week.  So, we would see the same guest throughout each day, sharing stories of our daily adventures.

Wanting to have the full experience of the Italian culture, we decided we would visit the beach…  topless.

When in Rome, do as the Romans do

Problemo…. We felt it might be a bit awkward to expose ourselves in front of the same resort guests that we would be sharing mimosa’s with the next morning.

Solutiono… We would visit the beach resort next door. It would be safer there, there would be no familiar faces.

We each grabbed our towels and marched ourselves to the resort next door.

We were happy to find 2 empty lounge chairs right by the sea.

Sharing a nervous giggle, we spread our towels on the chairs and laid down ….  face up.

It was a tense moment….

Her:  Are you ready?

Me: Are we really going to do this?

Her: On the count of three we remove our tops…  1,

Me: Wait, Wait, Wait…  Are we sure we want to do this?

Her:  Come on…  we only stand out if we are wearing our tops….  1,  2

Me:  Oh My Gosh…  I’m not sure – You promise you will do it at the same time….  you promise?

Her:  Yes!!!  I promise – okay here we go…  you ready?

Me:  Okay,  I think I am ready.  Just untie and remove it, to expose our top….  right??

Her: That’s right…. Easy Peasy…. Now…..   1,     2,     3

Me:  I did it – did you do it?  I took mine off…. did you???  I don’t wanna look, I can’t turn my head.

Her (relaxed): Yep…  soaking up some rays…

Me:  Holy mackerel – I can’t believe we did this….  I just can’t believe we are doing this!!

Her:  Isn’t it great?  Just relax mom…  it’s fine.  I am loving this day!!

Suddenly – a very angry man…  mid 30’s comes over to us waving his arms up over his head wildly and screaming at us in Italian…

Me: Oh my Gosh. Oh my Gosh. Oh my Gosh….  What does he want? What did we do?  Why is he so angry at us??

Her:  I have no idea, but boy is he mad!

Angry Man: Standing right over us, yelling and waving arms…..

Her to Angry Man: No comprende…..  No comprende ….

Her to me:  I have no idea what he is saying but he is really pissed….

Me to her:  I thought you said this was a topless beach…..   I can’t move, what do we do?  Oh my Gosh everyone is looking, why is he yelling at us??  Where is my top?  Are you sure this is a topless beach???

Now another man in his 50’s – much more calm and speaks some broken english – grabs the younger angry man and takes him aside and they talk in private for a moment…

Me: Oh My Gosh,,,  what is happening, what are they saying, what should we do?  Do you see my top?

Her to me:  I don’t know yet…  just stay still, and yes, I promise you this IS a topless beach.  Look around, everyone here is topless.

Me:  Look around?  I can’t look around – I can’t move…. I want to put my top back on but I am to scared to move….are you still topless?

Her to me:  Yes, I am.  Shhh…  Here he comes….

Calm Man to us: I’m sorry but you two ladies have to leave our beach…

Angry man is pulling his hands through his hair and pacing quickly back and forth. mumbling in Italian and occasionally shaking his fist in the air above his head…

Her to calm man:  Why do we have to leave – what is the problemo?

Calm man: it is your towels…

Her to calm man:  Our towels???

Calm man:  Yes ma’am – the logo on your towels tells us you are from the resort next door.  This is a private beach for our guests only.

Her to calm man: Scusa us….

Ahhhh….  Italy!  The land of vino, beautiful people and unforgettable beaches!

I hope you enjoyed our little Italian adventure as much as I enjoyed reliving it….   Happy Friday!



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  1. Maddy

    Oh my goodness….this IS HILARIOUS!! I was able to completely visualise this whole picture…..what a fantastic memory to share with your daughter!!!😁


      Thanks Maddy – I laughed all night after writing it… However, it wasn’t so funny as it was happening!


      Molly – thank you so much for introducing me to the beautiful and unforgettable Italy!! We have had some fun travels.


      You are adorable Vicki – I wish you would have been there, at that very moment… I didn’t handle it so well then, but happy to see the humor now!


    Hahahaha – Rena – I see that we share the same sense of humor! Thank you for reading and taking the time to leave a comment!

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